The Loss of My Grandson

Here it is, 2 weeks since that terrible day when Eddie, my grandson died. That word “died” does not do the moment justice. It is so simple, for something so profound. 

I have noticed that in all of this I’ve begun to feel a deep sorrow. It’s like a grey rainy day hanging around inside of me. It tinges all my smiles with a slight down turn at the edges. It seeps into my quiet moments and especially into the times just after I’ve experienced the love from friends, co-workers and family.

I, being a knowledge seeker, sought to find out what this sorrow was made up of. Was I sad that Eddie died? Of course I was! He was a happy, enthusiastic, energetic young boy. He was always on the move. But that was not what the sadness was made of.

I searched it deeper and found that it was a sadness that was made up of seeing my daughter weep at the loss of her small child, knowing that as much as I and others tried to comfort her, there would always now be a sadness within her. It was tinged with a sadness of seeing my son-in-law carry the burden of trying to keep his children from being too sad, of holding his wife when she wept, of carrying the youngest in his powerful arms and of his constancy in prayer for his family. It had a tinge of the sadness I see in my 15-year-old granddaughter’s eyes, knowing that she cannot expunge the scene of the accident from her memory, and now will carry it with her for her whole life. It has the tinge of sadness I see in my wife’s eyes as she looks at our grandson’s picture and remembers her last encounter with him, where he sat calmly by her side at Church, something he rarely did.

I know this sadness in me will not go away, I do know it will slowly become less and less painful to touch. I do not wish it to go away, because it reminds me that I am human, and reminds me that I am made in my Father’s image, a Father that cares for us. I know that I will carry it forever and it may even overwhelm me at those special times when we gather and realize that a chair is empty, or someone calls “Eddie” when they mean someone else, or when my eyes meet my daughter’s or my wife’s eyes when we are seeing something that reminds us of him. But still I need it, I need it because the other choice is to forget, to forget the wonderful child who we all miss, who we all grieve his absence, but we all know that we will someday see again. 

“Why are you downcast, my soul, why do you groan within me? Wait for God, for I shall again praise him, my savior and my God.” Psalm 42:12

In the meantime, I’ve seen miracles occur. I’ve seen the Gospel come alive. In Matthew 7:7-8 Jesus says,
 “Ask and it shall be given to you, seek and you shall find, knock and it shall be opened unto you. For everyone that asks, receive and he that seeks finds, and to him that knocks, it shall be opened."

We asked for prayers, and you poured them forth. We’ve been surrounded by a community of believers who assailed heaven with their voices and the heavens responded. I’ve seen neighbors and friends and even those who did not know the family come out and give them support and food and finances that will make their future easier to bear. I’ve seen news media who usually turn a personal tragedy into a news circus, be kind and compassionate and responsible. I’ve seen people come out in the hundreds and express their sorrow and attempt to be a comfort. I’ve seen people who have ignored their faith for years respond to the request for prayer turn back to God and seek his face.

I will overcome the darkness and sadness because I am one of His children and I know that Eddie now lives in the Father’s arms. I will continue to praise my Father in heaven for his goodness and mercy and grace. I will seek out his face even more than before, because I know that my Redeemer lives and that Eddie now lives with Him. We may miss Eddie, but we have grown closer as a family and stronger in our faith. We have journeyed through a dark valley and can see the light now dawning on us. 

May God bless each of you that have shown us so much love and may His grace be poured forth onto your families. May God's Peace be with you and with us.

Joseph and Christmas

Deacon Bruce Maltzen'sHomily for December 19,2010 4th Sunday in Advent, CYCLE A (readings found here)
Reading I Isaiah 7:10-14
Reading II Romans 1:1-7
Gospel Matthew 1:18-24

When I read this Gospel, I began to wonder about Joseph. Just what did I know about him? What did the scriptures say about him? Other than this paragraph or so in Matthew – we only have the following references to Joseph in the Bible
His lineage traced back to David and to Abraham given in Matthew 1:16 also in Luke Chapter 3 ending in

“Jacob the father of Joseph, the husband of Mary. Of her was born Jesus who is called the Messiah”

And in Luke 2 where he takes them to Bethlehem

And Joseph too went up from Galilee from the town of Nazareth to Judea, to the city of David that is called Bethlehem, because he was of the house and family of David to be enrolled with Mary, his betrothed, who was with child.

And the story of Joseph’s taking Mary and Jesus into Egypt in Matthew 2:13-14

“ When they had departed, behold, the angel of the Lord appeared to Joseph in a dream and said, "Rise, take the child and his mother, flee to Egypt, and stay there until I tell you. Herod is going to search for the child to destroy him." Joseph rose and took the child and his mother by night and departed for Egypt

You’d think that they’d give us a little more of a picture, but maybe that’s all they needed to say. And actually that’s quite a lot. It starts by saying he was the direct descendant of David – which fulfilled the messianic prophecy that the Messiah would be called the son of David. But its more than that. Look at what else it says:

Joseph was a righteous man, meaning that he followed the laws of Moses and kept the faith alive in his life. He more than likely had already put into effect in his life the law that Jesus would say later in Matthew what is the greatest of the commandments:

You shall love the Lord, your God, with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the greatest and the first commandment. The second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself.

Remember also that the penalty for adultery (which Joseph could have exposed Mary to if he had not followed what the Angel had said ) was death by stoning. He rejected that – knowing that doing so would violate the greatest of all commandments, the commandment to reflect God’s love for us by loving each other. Instead he thought he would quietly divorce her, which would free him from this union and would not expose Mary to the penalty of the law.

But God had other plans for Joseph and Mary so He sent his angel to Joseph to tell him just who exactly Mary was carrying in her womb. You can imagine the surprise that Joseph had. Joseph receives a message directly from an Angel who had received it from God himself that Mary was carrying the long awaited Messiah. Joseph could have determined it was all just something he ate before going to bed, but remember that Joseph was a righteous man and feared God. He would not put aside a visit from an Angel so lightly. He believed that God worked among men in mysterious ways.

He knew that the Messiah was awaited, he knew the scriptures about the Messiah, he knew that all of Israel longed for and felt that the coming was upon them, he knew the stories of the angels and how they had many times in Israel’s history intervened in the life of God’s people. Joseph had to weigh all that and make a decision. Remember also on his mind was that by taking Mary into his home he was declaring the child to be his, which would greatly diminish his standing in the eyes of the community as having broken the vows of the betrothal- which was to be chaste before marriage.

My guess is he also didn’t go around telling people that he was visited by an angel. My guess is he did tell Mary because it confirmed what she had probably told him when it became evident that she was pregnant. She undoubtedly told him of what the Angel had told her and of being overcome by the Holy Spirit and, that she would bear a son and his name would be Jesus and he would be the Savior of his people.
Joseph was not without free will. There is no doctrine about his immaculate conception or sinlessness. Yet he responds with obedience, generosity and faith. He listened to this message from God told to him in a dream. He rose above his fear. He rose above his confusion. He did not know how the story was going to end other than knowing now that this child was going to save his people from their sins. The words -- HE DID AS THE ANGEL OF THE LORD COMMANDED HIM should be inspirational to all of us. And there begins the story of Joseph in Christmas – Joseph takes her into his home, which is the last step of the marriage process.

By taking Mary and the to be born child into his home he was adopting Mary’s child and in that adoption gave to him the lineage of David, all falling into God’s will. Both of them listening to God’s messages from the Angels, both of them hearing not only with their ears but also with their hearts and then placing themselves at the will of God and doing what his Holy Spirit led them to do.
Oh that we could gain that ability back again. Oh that we could become so open to God’s word that we could be called RIGHTEOUS. That we would actually stop and think about the ETERNAL ramifications of what we are doing? How many of you men in the congregation could look to your family and your friends and know that if they wrote about you, as they did about Joseph, that they would call you RIGHTEOUS in the best sense of that word; righteous as in thoughtful, faithful, ardent believer.
How many of us would listen to an Angel in our dreams tell us something that made no sense in the everyday world and THEN GO and do it? How many of us would just chalk it up to a bad night’s sleep?

We could you know. We could gain that attitude, that capability to know when God wants us to do something special, but it would take the courage of a Joseph and Mary, the love for God of a Joseph and Mary. Having a heart for good, having a mind focused on God, being steadfast and knowledgeable in our faith.

When will that Joseph time come for you? When will God’s messenger tap you on the shoulder and say, God has called you to a great endeavor, and he asks that you do something out of the ordinary, something that might seem a little different or not quite right for you in your life and to your friends and family, but is absolutely right and magnificently holy in His sight?

What would you do,… NO – I would like to rephrase that:

What WILL you do – as it WILL happen in your life, matter of fact - it may already have.


Your brother in Christ,
Deacon Bruce