Deacon Bruce Maltzen's Homily for his daughter's wedding...
Today we gather to celebrate Bobby and Annaleah’s marriage. We celebrate it because it is customary to gather with family and friends to witness and rejoice with them as they join in this marriage. But just what is it we are celebrating?
We need first of all to begin to understand just what a marriage is in the eyes of the Church and of God. Most people just see it as a legal contract, or even worse a bondage of one to another. The Church however sees it as a uniting in the mystery of the Triune God.
The Triune God, that is the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit are each God, each having a separate purpose in relation to the salvation of the World. However, all the Divine Persons of the Trinity act in perfect unity, that is they work in union with each other, since God is one and has but one will. On God’s level, so to speak, we find a being who is three persons while remaining one Being. Now we probably cannot fully conceive of a being like that, as we cannot conceive the dimension of heaven and in what we can perceive of our dimension we have no such thing. However we can gain some sort of faint notion of it as he has given us clues to it.
We see a slight notion of that joining together of persons when we see a marriage as we do today that is steeped in faith. We see that these two were separate and God will reach into this dimension and join them together in a way that they will be more than two, but they will become just one, somewhat like lines joined together to form a figure. A triangle is a single figure but in it exists 3 separate but conforming lines. In our Christian faith we can see this marriage as a sign of that three person God, such that we can begin to see the glimmer of just what that joining together, that unity of persons is really about.
In this marriage we should see reflections of something larger. You see, this is a Sacrament, that is, a sign - no - more than a sign, a touchstone or intervention into our normal everyday lives of God's presence with and in us. It is where God becomes one with us, and makes a covenant with us, a pledge to us, to promise to be with us in all things.
You see, Christ is a sacrament of God, that is, He makes God the Father more visible, that is, He makes God's love for us visible and touchable. He is the sign of God, the Covenant with God. Marriage then, is a Sacrament of Christ, making Christ more visible, that is Christ's love more visible and touchable.
In “Deus Caritas Est” (God is Love), Pope Benedict says that being Christian is not the result of making an ethical choice or a lofty idea, but the result of an encounter with an event, a person, which gives life a new horizon and a decisive direction. Therefore Love itself is not so much a decision as it is an encounter with another. Therefore marriage, the combining of our human love with God’s love to become one becomes an encounter with a person, that person being not only our spouse, but God who draws us and forms us together in him.
What a concept. To share the love that God shares, a gift that only can come from God. That is why this is a sacrament, to receive the Love shared between the Father and Son and Holy Spirit as John's Gospel states, "So that they may be one, as we are one…", that as husband and wife, Bobby and Annaleah can share that very same love. All it takes is belief, hearing and doing the Word of God. Can we believe Jesus? If you can, then what He says must be true, and therefore it is possible to share that love that Jesus talks about. Bobby and Annaleah, you MUST become one in that same love so that you can reflect the Father's glory in His Son. You do that by doing what Paul says in our second reading:
“Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, heartfelt compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience, bearing with one another and forgiving one another. And let the peace of Christ control your hearts, the peace into which you were also called in one body. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly”
So that in this unity, this oneness, this marriage, you can become that Love of Christ. That as husband and wife you can become that light, that beacon of love for the rest of the family. Seeing this light, this Love, the rest of the family will begin to desire that light and love shared between the two of you, shared with Jesus the Son who shares it with the Father in heaven. With this immense and unlimited love abiding in you, Bobby and Annaleah, you should be able to surmount all the difficulties that will surely arise. You should be able to not only have love enough for your family, but should be able to extend that love beyond your family to the world that is so in need of love today.
And the world is definitely in need of all married couples to reflect God's love, example it to them. Today's culture does NOT support a sacramental marriage. Today's culture is a culture about “I” not “we”. Today's culture is about diversity in lifestyle's and getting what's yours and looking out for yourself. Today's culture is not supportive of sacrificial love, of giving oneself for another as our Gospel commands:
"This is my commandment: love one another as I love you.
No one has greater love than this, to lay down one's life for one's friends. "
Today's culture does not support the idea of spending your life in love for another.
Today's culture looks at marriage as a cost reduction method, as a temporary “deeper” relationship, as a state recognized tax status, as an agreement to pool resources, as a security transaction to prevent loneliness, as a hedge against old age alone.
Oh yes, there will be problems; problems around and in your marriage. I won't give you the idea that marriage is easy. There will be troubles and sickness and pressures and interferences and all kinds of situations that will push you to the very edge and beyond of your ability to cope but never to the edge of your love if you continue to tend to it and grow it.
The nice thing is that in this time before your wedding – I’ve seen the two of you remain true to the commandment to love one another and to also “Put on … heartfelt compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience, bearing with one another and forgiving one another.” I’ve seen you go through these trials in your life and support each other. I’ve seen you live lives of chastity and charity. I’ve seen you become the beacon of light that this world needs in your life and actions. Continue to do so, continue to act as if Christ is watching every action you do, not because he wants to catch you at something, but because like a good parent, He loves you and wants to see you doing your best to live life fully as He has provided for you.
So you must remember to lean on the covenant that the three of you, yes three... (Bobby, Annaleah and God)… the covenant the three of you will make here today. You will find in your lives that you will often be asked to go a little further, expend a little more of your time and energy when all may seem futile, you will be tempted to give up when it seems that it’s just too tough to go on. Yet it is then that you will need to rely on God's word and His grace, it is then that you need to rely on the covenant that you make here today. It is then that you need to continue to put on heartfelt com[passion, kindness, humility and gentleness. You will be asked to extend yourself, but you need to rely on God to work through your actions.
Marriage in the church is something far different from what the world thinks it is. You will start this marriage today pledging that you will be "true to each other in good times and bad, in sickness and health, to love and honor each other for all the days of your lives." These are things I’ve already seen you doing with each other. These are things you need to continue to do. Remember that marriage is more than consenting to live together and share your lives. You must remember at all times that it is a consenting to be a reflection of God's love.
This wedding is the beginning, the first vows, the public statement of - "not only do I love you, but I will put your needs and good foremost in my life, and I will treat you and see you as Christ has treated you and as Christ sees you." You see, He laid down his life so that you might have eternal life. His sacrificial love for you requires of you to love each other beyond all human capability. This is why the first rule of married couples is to make sure that their spouse gets to heaven. The reason that you will make these vows is far beyond the "I do it because I love you". You will do it because Christ has already done it for you, and He now asks you to do so for one another. In our Gospel He asks that you go and bear fruit, fruit that will remain, so that whatever you ask the Father in His name he may give you. You must bring the taste of this fruit, His love, back into the world, to preserve the goodness He has placed into this world. He asks you to bear fruit in your marriage so as to prepare a place in your souls for Him as He prepares a place in Heaven for you!
Your brother in Christ,
Deacon Bruce
